Pull my hair out vs. laugh at it all

The most common phrase around the house right now seems to be "Duh-LANEY!!!!" That kid. I swear she may be the death of me. She is such a crack up, and then she just does things that make me crazy. Last Sunday, in the middle of sacrament meeting, she threw her shoe over the pew in front of us. Since we sit in the second row, it rebounded off the podium with a thud. It was not my proudest moment.

This past week has been even more fun. The other night, all the kids were sent to bed and it was quiet up there. I went up to get ready for some shut-eye myself and discovered that Delaney was not only NOT asleep, she was not in bed. She was in the bathroom making the toilet water pink. Pink with what, you ask? Pink with the Dora toothpaste that was also smeared all over the counter and floor. She was stirring it in the toilet with her hands when I discovered her. And yes, the water was pink.

Another night, Joshua came to tell me Delaney had thrown a towel away. I wasn't paying attention, and thought he just meant that she had thrown the hand towel on the floor. When I went to the bathroom later, I saw that there was, indeed, a towel in the trash. When I picked it up, I noticed it was coated with lotion. My very expensive moisturizing lotion. Delaney had poured it out and wiped it up with the towel. Since there was so much on the towel, she thought it needed to be thrown away. Aaack!

Delaney likes to be independent. This means that this week alone she has spilled 3 cups of milk that she poured herself, dumped a can of pineapple on the floor as she tried to drain the juice, nearly clogged the toilet as she used half a roll of TP and 40 flushable moist wipes when she went to the bathroom like a big girl, and she smeared peanut butter all over the counter as she scraped the jar with a spatula so she could make her own sandwich. Did I mention that she is 3? Not even 3 and a half? She is a full time job!

She does make up the most fascinating stories. Today I was informed that her grandma gave her her "skirt" for Christmas. Since I had just given her the scarf (not a skirt) 2 days prior, I know where it came from, and from whom. She told me her daddy didn't like her to go to bed, and she related a very elaborate story about chasing kittens out of the tree tonight. I really need to just strap a voice recorder to her to catch all this stuff. There was something that had me in stitches and I was going to remember it to share with you, but of course I have forgotten it. My favorite one is still when she looked at me, then looked at her empty hand, and in that sweet voice said, "I don't have a cookie in my hand!"