The Emperor's New Clothes

Today I am here to report that the Emperor is Naked. Yep, even though everyone else says he is wearing something wonderful, the truth is, the man is nude. In today's case, the Emperor is a popular and very sought after event. And I can't figure out why.

Today, we had the inglorious opportunity to attend the White House Easter Egg Roll. Everyone was jealous that we were going. I felt pretty special. (Dan was able to get tickets through work, and I thought it would be a good experience.) I was stressed out about what to wear to such an event, and I was concerned because it was suppose to be hot- really hot, as in up in the 80's. I was really disappointed to find no information on the official web site either. No information about anything! Well, there was a list of things you could not bring in, but that was all. I had hoped for some guidelines or rules, but there was nothing.

So, today I took Joshua and Marian out of school early and off we went, our whole family of 7 and a big double stroller. It was about an hour of travel, mostly by Metro to get there. Then another 1/2 mile of hoofing it to get to the big field, sorry, "The Ellipse". After asking directions, we ended up at the end of a very long line. A very long line that snaked back and forth across the very big field. That's when Dan said there were 5 sessions throughout the day and 6,000 people attended each session. We were the 1:45 session- #4. We were in the tail end of the line at 1:30, and the gates opened for us at 1:45.

And it was hot. Really hot. Hot enough that it was too hot to get upset when Joshua complained non-stop about the heat. And it was hot enough I could have wrung out my undergarments, but instead, I had to settle myself under the only un-taken shade tree and lift said undergarments so I could nurse Rylee. Oh, and that line there in the picture, behind the kids, that's the people behind us, and it snaked around a long long way.

Finally, the line began to move. It was stop and go for a while, and then it was hustle, hustle, hustle. And it took a while. I would say we walked a good half mile in line to get to the entrance.

I will say that all the volunteers and people working the event were very friendly and great. They had to check through a million people and they had to be wicked hot too, but they were unfailingly polite and cheerful. The guys who did the security check were even thoughtful enough to lift the double stroller over the barrier, so that we did not have to fold it up. They were quick too, and pleasant. That was nice.

The next thing was a line of tables with cold drinks and energy bars. So of course you grab them and head on to the next line, to get into the White House front Lawn. The sign in front of the entrance to this next line says, no food or drinks! So there by the entrance is a huge pile of unopened drinks and food, just being thrown away. It was such a waste! I wish they had had a sign saying you had to eat it all right there, so maybe there would have been less stuff thrown away.

And here we are in the second line. This was to get us into the White House lawn. It took us a good 45 minutes plus, just to get onto the White House Lawn. Oh, and did I mention that you only have 2 hours?!! Yep, our time was 1:45-3:45 and we had to leave at 3:45. And we spent almost half the time just getting in the event. Ug.

This was the grand entry. See all those people in front of us? Most of them were pushing strollers (including us!). It was hot. Did I mention it was hot? To make it more fun, there were a lot of little kids having meltdowns in the heat and the press of humanity. Our little kids were doing really well. Joshua was the biggest complainer, and he wasn't bad.

Oh, look. Here we are, in front of the White House. This is probably the closest I will ever be. Do you see all those people? This picture does no justice to the sheer number of people milling around. It was insane. It was worse than the time I went to Knott's Berry Farm on Toys for Tots day. We really just stopped here to get out of the crush.

Then Joshua decided he wanted to Hula Hoop. So off he went. It looks like the Wii is paying off! He did a really good job and stopped complaining about how hot he was. This was the only thing we successfully managed to participate in.

And Callie and Delaney wanted a picture. It was a little nerve-wracking to try to keep track of all 5 kids with so many people all over the place. They did an awesome job of sticking close and running back when they strayed too far. If I had lost one of them, I'm not sure I ever would have found them again!

We tried to find the Easter Egg Hunt, but this was all we found. And you had to be aggressive and unencumbered to get to the front of the booths to see anything. We did not find that fun at all. Plus, with the sweat flowing freely, even the sunscreen did not seem to be working, and there was no shade. No shade!

This is what it looked like. This is what we spent 45 minutes doing. This, this is not fun! There are No new clothes on the Emperor! No fun. We polled the kids- did they want to continue to see if there was anything fun to do, or were they done. They were done. And I was glad, because I was ready to go home. So we left before it was even 3:45.

We headed out, got our 5 commemorative eggs and 5 boxes of Peeps, and hiked the 3/4 mile to the Metro. This here is the highlight of the trip- the Peeps!

We got nearly all the way home before switching Metro lines. There was some trouble on the line and it was 15 minutes between trains. During that incredibly long wait, I looked over to see Delaney standing in a puddle. Oh, yes she did! I whipped off her pull-up, wiped her down and had a new pull-up on before Dan even realized what was going on. He nearly had a heart attack, since we were right next to a Metro worker. Fortunately, he was oblivious. It was just one more thing to cap off a day that was not all we had hoped it would be.

So, my take on the event is not a positive one. It was pretty well run, but there were way too many people to do anything or to have any fun. It was pretty much a waste of my entire afternoon. A really hot, sweaty waste. Now it is one more box in life to check off and say "I did that."

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Dan feels that I am a bit extreme here. He doesn't think it was a complete waste. I concede that he is correct. We did accomplish something. We have aquired bragging rights to be able to say that we got to go to the White House Easter Egg Roll. And he was also correct in pointing out that the kids got some character today. They endured something that wasn't a lot of fun and they did it really well. We didn't feel the need to throttle anyone and no one got lost. Thus, it was a success!

I would like to point out that I still have a valid complaint. This is the White House Easter Egg Roll! There is a lottery (A lottery, people!!) held across the USA for people who want to attend. And yet, to accommodate so many people, it is nearly impossible to have a good time, or to do anything unless you have no children, no stroller and are willing to be really aggressive. As someone who doesn't think poor behavior should be rewarded, this is not the kind of function I enjoy. So I am astonished that this event is so popular. It isn't any fun! It is crowded, it is hard to get anywhere, it is hard to do anything, and you spend more time waiting than doing anything. Oh, and did I mention that the President wasn't present? Nope, he was off throwing the first pitch of the baseball season. So why is this such a big deal? I am not getting it at all. No clothes, I say, the Emperor has no clothes!