Who's been Playing with My Camera?!

Today we wanted to go to the Splash Park. It was also suppose to rain.  I did not want to get my good camera wet and broken, so I dug up the little waterproof camera.  I have not really used it or done anything with it in 5 months, and there were 166 pictures on it!  I know I didn't take them!  When children get the camera, they do take some interesting shots.  Such as these:

Sometimes they take some interesting.... and unintentional videos, like this!

And finally, we get to what I did want the camera for.   Sadly, I did not take many pictures with it.  But these were 2 of them.

We made the 40 minute drive to the Zoo and it started to drizzle as we arrived.  Undaunted, we figured we were going to get wet anyway, so no worries!  We headed to the splash park to splash.

Unfortunately, it actually managed to be COLD!  I have not been cold since January here!  The kids didn't splash too long.  The water was cold and the sun was hiding, so it was chilly and some lips turned blue.  But fun times were had!

The long Version

Sometimes I am not very good at seeing the whole picture.  I am aware that I only see what is in front of me and I know there are other points of view but I honestly do not see them until it is pointed out to me.  So, knowing that, I am not sure how annoyed I should be, and I definitely am not sure what I should do.

So, here's the background. Deep background is that in VA, Marian was known by nearly the entire school, and pretty much everyone thought she was great.  Kids would say hi to her all the time and would try to engage and play with her.  Her teachers were attentive and thought she was a good kid.  They focused on her strengths, and were very aware of when she was feeling uncomfortable.  Then we move here.  The teachers have no training on how to deal with students who are not the norm.  They are nice, but don't pay attention.

Recent background is that Marian has been getting into trouble a lot the last few months.  Lying about her work, pushing kids, drawing on her desktop, not doing work.... stuff like that.  I knew something had to be going on with her, but could not figure out what it might be.  And she kept saying everything was fine, and no there was nothing bothering her.  So I could not figure out what was triggering this.  I talked to her teacher, who said Marian was very closed off and almost sneaky, and didn't want to talk much.  This was all red flag stuff that something was not right, but again, I could not figure out what it was.

Monday, I got a call from the school saying that Marian had kicked a kid for no apparent reason.  Since this kick had reopened a wound on the kid's leg, and this was not the first physical offense, she was being given In School Detention for Tuesday.  Yes, she is only in 3rd grade and they are giving her In School Detention!  I know, crazy.  So I feel conflicted about that one.  On the one hand, Hello, it is 3rd grade, isn't that a little extreme? And on the other hand, Awesome!  Marian is much happier alone, than with a big group of rowdy kids.

And here is the rest of the story.  I finally know what has been bothering her.

Marian has a huge personal space.  Or maybe it is a small personal space, but she really, really does not like it infringed on.  Her desk is her space and she does not like other kids touching it.  Her class has figured that out and has taken great delight in teasing her.  They like to walk by and touch her desk.  This makes her crazy.  She said she even tried putting a book up to prevent them from messing with the desk, but then they just poked her book with their pencils, which was even worse.

And this is when Marian resorts to pushing or hitting, or, apparently, kicking.  And then the kids tell on her and she's in trouble.  Yes, I see that it is not okay to hit or push kids. Although honestly, I'm pretty sure that there should be a natural consequence to teasing. If you tease me and I hit you, you'll quit teasing me.  But telling the teacher is just a wonderful extension of that teasing.  Now not only have you gotten immense satisfaction from pushing me to the brink, but now you get to see me get in trouble for losing it.  I don't like that either!   But what is the solution?  How is this fixed? The teachers are not interested in the teasing.  They are not going to be watching her.  They are not keeping an eye on this, or on her.  They are not keeping track of what sets her off, nor are they even aware of how easy it is to read her and know when she's having a problem.

I am frustrated at the lack of care from the teachers.  I understand that there are 28 kids in the room, and they can't do everything all the time, but I DO expect some situational awareness, and in this part of the country....  well, child-rearing is still stuck in the early 1900s.

There are just a few weeks of school left.  I'm probably not going to do anything now.  But what about next year?  What do I do?  I have some options: 1. I can leave her in that school and hope for a better year.  2. I can switch to the other school, which is further away and on a different calendar.  3. I can pay big bucks for a private school. (Yeah, that was just an option, not a viable one!)  4. I can home school.  5. I can wish it magically away.  6.  I can let her suck it up and be miserable through school.

So there you have it.  My biggest frustration this week.  I honestly do not know what to do. I want my little girl to be happy and successful.  How do I make it happen?

Cycle of Friends

I had something happen yesterday that I felt the need to chat with someone else about.  The sad thing was, I could only think of one person here that I consider a good enough friend to talk about it with.  And its not even that personal.  It was about a call from the school about a kid's misbehavior.  I don't know how cross I should feel about the school's handling of it, or just let it go.  But I digress.  Rather than focusing on the school issue, I chose to focus on how hard it has been to make friends here.

Those who read this probably already know me.  Being a military brat, I know the importance of putting yourself out there and making the effort to find friends and to be friendly.  Since we live on a base, it should be easy to make friends.  Since we go to church, I should have even MORE options.  So I feel very sad that people here are really not receptive to new friends.

I also realized that I'm in a different part of my life.  When I was single, I had roommates and friends at school.  When I got married, no one wanted to be friends, because everyone we knew was newlyweds and they were all wrapped up in new love and didn't have any interest in making friends.  Then it was new motherhood, and everyone wants to be your friend!  You are in the Mom Club and have lots of opportunities to make friends.

Fine, not all new moms do, but when you look for mom groups and hang out in the mother's room at church, you make friends pretty easy.  Same with when you have small children.  Going to the park, kid activities and stuff like that puts you in touch with other moms and you make friends.  And again, I've always found friends at church.  I have definitely sought out opportunities to meet new people and to make friends, and I've always felt like I made friends pretty quickly whenever we have moved.

Now, I have no baby.  My baby is growing.  I'm no longer in the New Mom Club. I have kids in school, and other moms with kids in school are not hanging around looking for friends.  I have gone to the base Mommy and Me playtime and the moms are pretty reserved there.  They chat with the people they already know and are not interested in new friends.  At church, it kind of feels the same.  I DO have friends, but I wonder why it feel so hard to maintain it.

I don't recall ever having so much trouble maintaing any sort of friendship before.  I've always had different levels going on at the same time.  You know, you have the friend you chat with a lot, and the friend who you call when you have a bad day, and the friend you have play dates with and the friend who calls you when she needs something, and the friend who you swap favors with.  But at least some of them feel easy and natural and don't require a lot of effort.

Here, I feel like I could disappear and no one would notice.  Especially right now, since I have no calling at church!  I could vanish and no one would ever call to see what happened.  And I wonder, is it me?  Have I reached a point where I just don't care to put forth the effort?  Is it this place?  Are people here just so grumpy that they have to live here that they just retreat from any interaction?  Or is it really me?  I don't think I'm that unlikeable.  I think maybe it is just that I don't have as many interactions.  There aren't any regular enough activities that I go to and hang out and chat with others enough to form a strong basis of interest.  Fine, that isn't entirely true.  We DO go to story-time and that's where most of my friends are. And I DO have a few friends, but I guess I wish they were more.  More friends.  More stronger ties.  More emotional support. More I'd feel comfortable asking things from.

I think I'm feeling moody today.  Most of the time I'm quite happy to do my thing.  I have my routine and I like it and I don't need to add any more activities to it.  But occasionally, I think it might be really nice to have someone other than family to call.

Monkey Time!

Let's start with a Delaney follow up.  After 4 weeks in her cast, Delaney finally got it removed.  She could not wait for the exciting event.

However, once it was time, she was terrified.  The silly pickle whimpered through the whole process. 

I told her to hold her arms up so we could see and compare, but this was the best I got.  She was making silly faces the whole time.  The doctor wanted x rays before the cast came off, and again afterwards.  Delaney had a great time making faces for the x-ray tech, who dubbed Delaney "Silly Lilly" for her antics.  Delaney is now out of the cast, but they gave her a soft splint to wear for rough activities.  Delaney refuses to take it off so far.

An on to the fun part!  MWR had a Family Fun Fitness Festival and I ended up taking the girls for the last 45 minutes of it.  It was particularly wonderful in that there were few people by then and the sky was a bit overcast, so it wasn't quite so sweltering.  But the big draw....

The climbing wall!  Marian was so excited!  And then learned that she could not climb it in her current favored footwear.  So Callie went up.

 And Callie got pretty high!  then she got a little scared.

 And down she came.

 Rylee did not want to be left out and the 2 guys there were so thoughtful!  They hooked her up and let her try it!  Here she's sure she wants go go up the wall, but not sure about this harness.

She really did have a lot of help, but this is as high as she got.  And then she was done. 

Here she is with her 2 wonderful helpers.   

Dan was thoughtful enough to bring Marian her closed toed shoes and here she is, ready to conquer the wall! 

 Up she goes!

She was pretty quick and mostly sure-footed!

 And then, she hit the ledge, right before the top and lost her mojo.

And down she came.  She loved it!  

Marian went up twice, and Callie managed to get in 3 climbs.  They had a really good time and I am glad we managed to go for that last hour of fun.  They also had some bounce houses which is where we spent the rest of the time.  And the firemen with their truck, and a man passed out popsicles, and there was a ball toss activity.... and it was great!

Joshy Wishy Washy

Tonight Joshua claimed he was soooo bored.  Since he HAS been working on homework all afternoon, I did not suggest he do that.  I told him I needed a topic to blog about.  He said I should blog about him.  So here you have 5 things about my firstborn child, spoken from his very lips!

1.  If I had my own company, I would name it "Josh the Awesome".

2.  Favorite song is "White and Nerdy".

3.  I can do all my school stuff all by myself, including the Science Fair.  (His teachers have actually emailed me to tell me what a great kid he is and "what a pleasure he is to teach". Yeah, he rocks!)

4.  I have a friend that half the time doesn't even make sense.

5.  I like Annoying Orange. And Minecraft.

And now, the pictures Joshua has chosen to represent himself.  

 Fun with the iPad.

 Striking a heroic pose with his sisters.

Posing with his Mardi Gras loot.