Resolved without Resolution

It has been very interesting, and slightly disturbing. But first, I'm gonna make 2 comments.

1.  Kirsten, we have a new principal this year.  

2.  In light of Carly's comment.... I can't believe your bus stop is 2 miles from your house!  And I can't believe that they would leave a 4 year old standing there alone.  That is wrong.  I do understand the school's policy. I understand that it may not be safe to let a kindergartner walk home alone.  I don't object to it, I just object to me having to comply to it. Especially since we live so close, and she's done this for a year already, and she's got a big brother with her, and she isn't the only kid getting off the bus.   And I was (and still am a bit) angry that I did what I could to help them feel comfortable and allow me to be an exception to the rule.  

Here is what bothers me:

I had talked to the principal, I had sent in a waiver, and someone decides a month later that Marian suddenly can't walk home.  And last night Joshua told me he wasn't allowed off the bus either.  He didn't have a choice.  So now my third grader couldn't get off?!  Ug!  Its a good thing for them that I had just assumed he was a sweet and supportive brother who had chosen to stay with his sister or I would have been even more mad and probably said things I'd regret later.  

Now, onto the unresolved part that disturbs me.  These are things I have been told about this situation:

- The principal said that the waiver had to be approved by the Transportation Office.  

- The transportation office says they do not have a policy that first graders have to be met by a parent at all. (So why would a waiver need their approval?)

- The assistant principal said there was no reason why the kids were kept on the bus and returned to the school yesterday. (Um... so why were they?!)

- The transportation office said the bus driver did it because she was unsure of their safety. (And for what arbitrary reason was yesterday different from any other day?!)

In theory, the situation is resolved.  The bus driver will let them both off the bus without a parent there to meet them.  That's what I have been told.  I must say I have zero confidence in the school now.  All this concern to keep my children safe by people who cannot communicate with each other.  Gosh, its so comforting. 

And now I must mention that Marian's teacher called me a few minutes before the bus was to arrive here today and told me that she hadn't seen the call for Marian's bus and Marian had missed it.  Aargh.  Fortunately, her teacher said she would bring Marian home if that was okay.  It was definitely okay with me! 

So stinking mad!!

I am so mad I can hardly see straight and now I must blog to get it out of my system so I don't have a meltdown and scream at the wrong person.

3 weeks after school started, and about the time I was delivering a baby, the school sent home a note saying all children in kindergarden and first grade had to be met at the bus stop by an adult.  I called the principal.  She said she could see how it might be a hardship for me to go to the bus stop and how about if I just stood in the driveway and waved. I wasn't thrilled, but I decided a good faith attempt would be better than outright refusal.  So Dan went out to the bus the next morning to talk to the driver who said, she was not the afternoon driver.  Dan went out in the afternoon and was told that this driver was not the usual driver.  Eventually, Dan did talk to the driver.  I tried to meet the bus once.  I stood on the corner for 5 minutes before I heard wailing and my mother in law came out with a screaming baby.  She waited at the stop while I went to feed my crying offspring.  So it was already an annoyance.

I wrote a very nice letter to the principal and told her all the reasons I didn't need to be at the bus stop.  Mainly, Marian is in first grade; she managed to walk herself home without any incidents last year.  We live 3 houses from the bus stop.  I am always home.  Heck, she even has a big brother who rides the bus too. As a matter of fact, with 6 other kids at the bus stop, she is never, ever the only kid getting off the bus.   She is a smart kid, and I'm pretty sure she can get herself home without me.  

I don't like people who just complain, so I was sure to offer solutions. (and yes, they were good ones, and viable.)  The principal emailed me back and said I could sign a waiver.  Dan wrote a lovely legal-speak waiver and I sent it in.  I didn't hear anything and Marian kept getting off the bus every day.  (Their threat was that they would return the children to the school.)  On Monday the school called to say that the bus driver had told them I couldn't meet the bus because I'd just had a baby and now that the baby was a month old, they expected me to meet the bus.  

What?!!

I called and talked to the message-leaver, who was just the secretary.  I said I had talked to the principal and had sent in a waiver.  She said she would look into it and would call me back.  She didn't call back.  

I thought it prudent to give the bus driver the waiver myself, so I had it printed off and sitting by the computer today.  I had just put Rylee down and was getting ready to meet the bus, when I saw the kid across the street walking up his drive.  I didn't see any other children.  Hmmmm....  I opened the door and asked him about my children.  He said they were on the bus.  They apparently did not get off.

So now I am really mad.  I don't know for sure, but I expect they didn't let Marian off and Joshua stayed with her.  I called the school to let them know my kids didn't come home, and I left an unhappy (yet polite) message with the asst principal.  Its now 30 minutes later and I still await word from them.  And I am so angry!  They can't get their act together and my children get a ride back to the school.  And knowing my kids, they are probably pretty upset.  That makes me even more angry.  Plus, now I have o go get them, in the freezing rain, with the other 3 children I have here.

I don't expect the school to be responsible for my children after they get off the bus.  I feel that their job ends there.  They pick them up and deliver them back to the bus stop and after that its my job.  If I feel my kids are okay to walk home, why can't they?  And if they expect Joshua's friend Giovanni to walk the 3/4 mile to school and back home as a kindergardener and first grader,  I'd think they could handle a 6 year old walking home from the bus stop. 

They say that the children's safety is their concern.  So riddle me this.... I have 3 little children at home- 4, 2, and now 7 weeks old.  Is it really safer for me to leave them in the house for 15 minutes so I can walk to the bus stop and wait for a kid who can walk home by herself?  Or is it better to drag 3 little children out in the freezing rain (which we have today)? 

Later today:

They had Joshua call me from the school to get picked up.  I asked to talk to someone, but there was only office ladies there- no one who can actually do anything.  I left a message for the assistant principal, who returned my call while I was out (in the freezing rain) picking up the children.  I also called the transportation office, who told me THEY had no policy about not letting first graders off the bus and she left a message for the supervisor to call back.  I don't like to raise a stink, but right now I think my goal is to be a big enough pain that they give me what I want.  I figure its that or they'll take Marian back to the school every day and I'll pick her up every evening!

Playing Hookey!

Dan has today off because its Veteran's Day.  He thought maybe he should take off Monday and Tuesday too.  So we did!  And since its no fun to just sit at home, we gave Joshua and Marian a break from school on Tuesday.  We went to Great Wolf Lodge!  They had given us a good deal and we thought it might be a good time to get away, since we won't be going anywhere for the holidays this year.  And if we needed another excuse, we were celebrating my parents leaving the MTC for Kenya, and we were celebrating the Marine Corps Birthday!

We left after the kids got home from school on Monday.  It was a 2 1/2 hour drive to Williamsburg and Rylee cooperated by sleeping the whole way.  That meant I drove the whole way because I wasn't going to stop if she was happy!  We arrived, checked in and were in the waterpark by 5pm.  The kids had so much fun!!

Dan got the first shift with the kids and I got to hold Rylee.  Dan managed to get Delaney in the deep pool once.  

 Later we traded off and he took Rylee while I got to go out and have fun with the kids too.  The waterslides were the best!  Marian and I even went down one together.  She was so cute about that.

Callie went down the waterslides.  (Delaney went down one on accident and flipped and rolled the whole way down.  She refused to go again!)

Joshua loved the wave pool and was such a fantastic brother.  He hung out and played with Callie a lot. 

Marian spent a lot of time here.  She went round and round on these logs.  It was fun to watch her methodically crawl from one to the next.  She's usually so adventurous that I expected her to just leap across, but she didn't.  She planned her way very carefully.

Me, I got to hold Rylee for a while.  This is our self-portrait.   She didn't get wet.  Well, not on purpose!  Callie turn one of the many s[prayers on at just the right moment to get me pretty good.  Rylee wasn't happy.  She was quite content to be snuggly held though.

Joshua also liked the logs.  He and Marian had a competition going on for a while.

It was well after their usual bedtime before we were settled in our room.  We got the one that had a queen bed and queen sized fold out couch.  Plus it had a "kid's Kabin" area with a bunk bed and single bed. The kids area had a tv for them and they thought it was the coolest thing ever.

Callie is in her jammies; Delaney is wearing goggles.  This is the kabin room.

Note Delaney there.  Callie wanted this shot- check out that grin.  I think she wore it the while trip!

Note Joshua on the top bunk, and there's Delaney  on the left.

Yep, there's Delaney!  Such a funny girl!  And there's Callie's smile again!

We had a decent night, and Dan got up at 6:30 with the kids and he managed to keep them fairly quiet till after 8, when I got up.  (I got up several other times in the middle of the night too, to feed Rylee, retuck Marian, and to cover Delaney.)  Marian woke up with a fever, so Dan took Joshua, Callie and Delaney out to swim when it opened at 9am, while I stayed with the other 2 girls and packed everything up.  They came back at 11 for a snack and we checked out. 

You can swim all day on the day you check out, so we headed back to swim some more!

This is the super-cool treehouse.  Check out the huge bucket at the top, the one that says "Great Wolf Lodge... its tipping!

And now it's dumping 1000 gallons of water down.  It does this every 5 or 10 minutes and the kid love it.  

Delaney wore this life vest today , but was actually more cautious.  On Monday she kept bobbing deeper and deeper into the wave pool, and I had to haul her out several times as she bobbed too deeply.  On Tuesday she hung out at a safe depth and just bobbed there in her life vest.  Here she's getting a little tired out.  Oh yeah, that twisting her hair while she sucks her thumb is her new thing.  

Marian wore her suit, but she didn't swim much.  I think she ran in two or thee times, but mostly she sat in the chair or snuggled with Daddy.

I have the most pictures of Callie because she was so darn cute, and I could fine her.  Plus she loved to pose for pictures there.  She had such a good time.

Joshua felt it vital to get his picture taken by the big wolf head in front of the hotel.  So here he is!!  It was a successful trip.  All of us had fun, the drive went well and we only had 2 meltdowns when we got home!

Family Foto Fun!

I needed a family picture.  Not something fantastic (although that would be great), just something with all of us in it.  So today at church, I asked my friend Lanie if she could snap a shot or 2 of us.  She said sure, and was fantastic enough to follow us home and spend 10 minutes with us.  I had envisioned us all just standing in front of the tree in the yard and getting a picture.  Dan thought we needed to get it taken in the back yard in front of the tree fort.

Here's Marian on the fort.  Joshua had gone AWOL and we were trying to round up everyone and get situated and ready for a picture.

Joshua had gone to get a broom to sweep the leaves off the fort.  Don't ask me what I'm doing here, I have no idea what that face is for! 

Lanie graciously took several shots.  Not the pose I'd have chosen, but hey, we had everyone in one spot and we had a cameraman!  Now if we could get all the kids looking at the camera....

Nice, except for Delaney!  Even Marian has an almost smile.  Okay, Joshua is a bit goofy.

And here is our winner.  You can see every face, even if its not the best face!

Now for something else....

For those of you who don't know, my parents are in the MTC this very second.  Tomorrow they leave for their mission in Nairobi! This means  the only way they will see my children for 18 months is here, for the most part.  So more pictures!  Here are some from this week:

Everyone loves to hold baby.  Even if baby doesn't like it

.

A self portrait by Callie!

Rylee in her bouncy seat.  She prefers this over the swing, but mostly she just wants (nay, Demands!) to  be in Mommy's arms.

This is really a picture of her outfit.  It's the Hungry Caterpillar!

Fun Photos

I realized that I didn't put up any pictures from Halloween itself.  The children refused to all pose together and Delaney refused to get out of the stroller, so here's what I have...

The more cooperative older children.  Joshua is "Desert Indy".  I would not pay the $30 at Target for an Indiana Jones costume, so we put this together and I braided him his whip.  Marian is a cow girl and Callie is the unicorn.

Joshua was thrilled with the idea of having a hairy chest.  You can't see it so well, but I used my eyeliner pen to make scruff on his chin and hair on his chest.  He's showing it off here. 

We went to the park on Tuesday, since there was no school again.  We took a picnic lunch and met my friend Sherrie there with her kids.  They really love this park.  Its all the fabulous sand there that makes it great. 

Marian refuses to smile for pictures!  She's not thrilled to get it taken most of the time either.

Rylee got her thumb in her mouth and I had to get a shot.  She's been slurping on her fists and fingers like crazy.  I am at debating point:  should I encourage the thumb, or try to get her onto a pacifier?  I LOVE that Delaney sucked her thumb and was able to self soothe as a baby, but now she's 2 1/2 and still pops it in her mouth.  The pacifier is good, but they can't put it in their mouth for a few more months.

Joshua built a fantastic castle with walls and everything.   The sand was still damp from several days rain, so it was perfect!

Delaney was quite creative.  She lined up all the cars under the monkey bars and then went across the monkey bars all by herself.  Unfortunately, she reached this point and that's where I had to hustle over to help her to the end! Such a brave and smart kid!

It was a bit chilly, and Callie started the day in long pants.  She went down a wet slide and got her jeans all wet, so she had to change into the spare pair of clothes in the van.  Callie loves to picnic more than the others.  Although, I will say, it was a fairly sandy meal!

 
My cute boy is a good brother. He actually does a pretty good job holding her and has been really helpful.  He was so sweet with her here that I had to get a picture.

I want to mention something totally unrelated now.  In Primary on Sunday all the kids were given a calendar for the month of November and a stack of stickers.  There was also a note saying that they were encouraged to do service and when they served someone, they got to put a sticker on for that day.  I thought this was such a great idea!  Not only do the kids try to be nicer, but us parents start looking for better behavior.  It has been a good motivator in our home.  Marian has been asking for ways to get stickers on her chart.  For a kid who doesn't naturally want to serve, it has been a good tool.  And it has been good for me to look for kind acts from them.  I don't always see the good stuff, but now that I'm looking for it more, it puts me in a different frame of mind and I like it.