Fun with My Family!

Okay, here's the background: My family has a reunion coming up this summer and we're trying to collect some of our family stories before then. Well, I am trying to do it. There is a decided lack of enthusiasm from other parties. (Or perhaps just less time!) I have been going through the stuff I have and getting everything onto the computer. Such fun! And tonight I am scanning my brother Adam's tales, and it has made me laugh out loud. That is my bar for sharing. If it makes me laugh out loud, I must share (which is why I plug thepioneerwoman.com all the time!). So, since I have completed the work of getting this tale computer ready, I shall now post it for your viewing enjoyment. Here is Adam's story, one of his many near-death exploits:

The date: some time in late April to early May 2001.
The place: Provo, Utah.
The people: Me...Just me.

With just days to go before making the flight from Salt Lake City to Anchorage, Alaska I was anxious to try to keep myself in reasonably good condition as to make myself as attractive as possible. So I ran. At this time after the Winter 2001 BYU semester had ended, and 1 was living off campus with Miranda and Dan. So it was from their house on 200E 248N that this journey began. I left with no real destination in mind, but quickly headed away from campus and towards the mountains. If you are familiar with Provo you might remember the famous "Y" mount. That's where I headed. I eventually found myself near 7 Peaks Water Park at the base of a formidable shale hill.

Picture this with me- A 90-foot high rock wall jutting up at about 75-85 degrees, getting steeper towards the top. In the middle of this wall there is a spot worn from water erosion that is full of good handholds that also gets narrower at the top. Above this the mountain leveled out and it was then just a hike up the mountain to get to the "Y". I, at first, had no intentions of climbing this, but the realization that if didn't go now it would be another 2 1/2 years before I'd ever make it to that famous BYU landmark encouraged me to go. Thus the climb commenced. Armed only with a worn down pair of running shoes, an old t-shirt, my running shorts, and my wit I started up the face, dreadfully unprepared. The first 30-40 feet was a cakewalk. There were many firm places to set my feet and hands, and my morale was still at Invincible Mode. Before I continue I'd like to give you a little back ground about shale, I think it's a kind of limestone that forms in layers. It's not very sturdy and it falls away in sheets. Meaning that you may have a good place to stick your foot for a moment, but after you apply pressure a large chunk of rock may rip out of the face, almost always making the place smoother and harder to climb. I'm sure by now you can see the problems that this caused. Now let's continue.

As I steadily climbed upwards, my pace decreased drastically. Not only was it getting harder to find a firm place to hold on to, but also the need for them was ever greater because of the increasing angle of the cliff. I'd also begun to get sloppy and found myself almost twister style (left hand on red, with right foot on yellow....) only 15 feet from the top. Off balance, out of reach, and slipping I was rather stuck. At this point I had two choices. I could either attempt to throw myself the remaining 5 yards to the top, and hope I make it, knowing that if I don't my body will tumble the 75 feet, bouncing off the wall to the bottom; or I could start a slow, controlled descent from where I was currently stationed with the hopes that by the time gravity overcame the friction between my shoes and the rock that I'd be far enough down that I could only be semi-horribly maimed. I actually had a third thought come to mind.

It was a slightly less realistic thought, but my mind clung to it in desperation. I fully expected a Spanish swordsman to come to the edge of the cliff offer me a rope or a tree branch or something. As you can imagine in this I was sorely disappointed. However, I did wait several minutes in hopes of this. I think you now have an understanding of how bad my situation was. I was starting to get just a little scared, but the realization that I needed to go on a mission gave me some hope, "I can't die yet." I thought.

It finally dawned on me that Anigo Montoya was not going to appear, and that I could not propel my body straight up 15 feet. I had to go down. Slowly I flipped myself around so that my back was to the wall, my feet facing down, and I began the descent. Going up is always easier than going down, and I'd made the journey even more of an odyssey by destroying all of the foot holes on the way up. Bad luck. The first few feet were very, very, very slow going. Knowing that if you move to fast, or without thinking that your body will fall helplessly 8 stories before crashing to the ground has a way of captivating your mind and making you think very hard before each move. Thus I began to move my left foot down, grab hold with my right hand, Oh!! Stay strong with left hand, slowly lower, watch out that rocks loose!! Careful it's really slick here...

Unfortunately, despite all my efforts, this pattern only continued for about 5 feet, Some how; it escapes my memory, I made an error. Shocking yes, but it happened. While lowering myself down the rock I was clutching for support- gave way beneath me, I pressed in with my feet to try to stop my fall; but it was futile. Luckily I had anticipated this, just not so quickly. As the rock I held broke off, and the slide began, I pushed my bum off the rock while stretching my hands out to try to slow me down and, with luck, stop completely. I then used my Adidas running shoes as skis while I shot down the mountain. You'd be amazed at how fast a 180 lb boy can get going. Just think "bobsled team" minus the protective bobsled.

As quickly as it began it was over, almost instantly I'd covered the 70 feet and was at the bottom. Just before impact I stood up as if running down the face of the cliff so that the transition from going down at 80 degrees to moving 180 degrees wouldn't shatter my legs. It worked. My downward moment was absorbed by the forgiving gravel and changed into forward movement. For a second I was stunned. I was alive! I looked quickly at myself. Yes, I still had all of my major appendages. Arms, legs, hands, still intact. Butt, bruised or broken. Shoes, still runnable. Me, alive. Me, happy, very happy.

As the initial shock wore off and I was able to inspect myself closer, I noticed several gashes in my hand from the rocks, but all in all not bad. I was able to run the mile or two back home without incident to receive competent medical help, a hot bath, and a bottle of rubbing alcohol. While doing so I discovered several scratches on my butt, but my shorts weren't torn (happy day, clothes don't heal) and a few other cuts, but nothing compared to the dismemberment I should have faced. It was a good day. So the moral of the story is when you go rock climbing bring a Spaniard with you.

Yes, this is my baby brother and his fabuous wife!

Spring has sprung

Have I mentioned that Callie only wants to wear dresses now? She has 3 she loves and I have washed them several times this week. Today she also wanted to wear her rain boots. They are way too big for her, but she loves them. They are quite darling, with little faces and antenna on the front. So that is what she wore today... to take Marian to preschool, to the commissary....Yeah, Callie got distracted by the dandilions in the preschool lawn. But those are cute boots!

Today it was finally nice outside. When Joshua got home from school, he wanted to get wet. We had to rustle up swimsuits for the kids and I hooked up the sprinkler to the hose. We made the yard a mess of mud. Yep, that's what we did. Delaney was so cute in her suit. She liked the water a lot more than I thought she would. Her face was so cute and confused. Unfortunately she tried to eat a large chunk of dirt. Me, the loving mom that I am, watched with the camera. i was hoping to get a cute, dirt-smeared face shot, and I thought she'd spit out the dirt, but she didn't. She tried to swallow it, then gagged and barfed. Not so cute.

A very good time was had by all. Love those chubby baby thighs!!

Happy List

I've come to the realization that this has become my complaint forum. That is so not why I started blogging. Well, maybe a little. ...but I should give the good stuff equal floor time. I am short on time, so I will only post 5 things I am happy for, and then I'll go to bed.


1. I am so lucky and grateful to have a fabulous husband. He does dishes, he makes Joshua lunch in the morning, he watched the kids for a week while sending me on a cruise, he makes me feel beautiful and perfect and never notices my muffin-top, he makes sure I have time to get away by myself, and he knows me (every neurotic flaw I have) and he loves me still!


2. I have 4 happy healthy children who make me laugh. Today Callie said she needed 5 "dwesses" for her "birsday". She needed one for Amy and one for "Dzack". I said, "Jack needs a dress?" and she said "Dzack wiw wook so cute!" Later, Marian asked how soap killed germs. I said it probably squashed them. She said "And punches them and pokes them in the eye?" Yep, I chuckled.


3. I can eat chocolate eggs from Easter and go running. I may need to run more to keep up with the increase, but I have a healthy body that allows me to run, and bike and swim and to play with my children!


4. I have the most wonderful family. I have great in-laws and people who I love and who love me. It humbles me to have so many people in my life who mean something to me, and who actually like me.


5. I have an eternal family. I will get to be with the people I love most for eternity! I have the Gospel in my life and the joy and comfort it brings. Bryn is so good about putting her testimony into everything, but I am not. I guess I assume that I know it, so everyone does. Well, I do know it! And I am so grateful to have a testimony and all the blessings it brings. Yes, life is good!





And now, a token picture:

Delaney is obsessed with the phone and climbed up to get it. Her sisters had a very good time with stickers, as you can see. Never a dull moment around here!

And now.... I Rant!

I have been thinking lately that I need to upgrade my wardrobe. This is tough for me for many reasons. I hate to spend money, I hate to shop with kids, I hate feeling unattractive, I hate trying to coordinate..... the list goes on. I finally went out tonight. In my post-nursing phase of life, I have come to the point where I seriously needed new bras. (That's what I was trying to shop for a week and a half ago when I lost Callie at the Exchange)

So I tucked kids in bed tonight and headed to Walmart, since I had already discovereed that the MCX selection stinks. I love that Walmart is so close! Have I mentioned how glad I am they built one in town? But I digress..... I had a wonderful time shopping for non-clothing items and finally realized I needed to stop wasting time. I found several shirts that caught my fancy and it was off to try them on.

Here is one of my problems.... I have a belly. Yes, I try to disguise it, but all my fat settles there. My legs, I am happy with. My feet are fine. I don't see my bottom, so it is fine too. My arms are good- they haul kids around, so they do get worked out. Every other part of my body I am okay with, but I have a fat belly. Now, I've said it. I can sigh with relief because you are either still my friend, or you've run screaming at the thought of my muffin top.

The delimma with this unattractive cellulite distribution is how to find clothes that do not make me look as fat as I feel. If I wear a Large, its too tight in the wrong places. I saw several really cute XL shirts, but they were too big. Why is there no size for me? I am not small enough to wear a lovely stretchy shirt- even in a L. Now that I am no longer lactating, my chest is not large enough to compensate for my tummy. I do not want my bulges hanging out for all to see. I just want a shirt that fits me and hides my fat. Why is that so much to ask?

Oh, perhaps I should look somewhere other than Walmart, you say? Sure, and when am I going to have time for that?! Time when I am childless and able? Hmmmm, on the plus side, I was successful in finding 2, yes, 2 acceptable bras. Thus, I call the evening a success.

I've been Tagged!

This certainly is a new one. Here goes....
This is what you do:
1. Pick up the nearest book (at least 123 pages).
2. Turn to page 123.
3. Find the 5th sentence
4. Post the 5th sentence on your blog.5.
Tag 5 people.

Okay, the closest book was "God Wants a Powerful People" by Sheri Dew. I am so excited that it was sitting on the computer desk, because I think Captain Underpants would have been the next closest! And this way you all think I am super-spiritual and all that. I'll try to perpetuate the myth! A Thank you to my Mother in Law who gave me this fabulous book! Anyway, page 123, 5th sentence is:

"After reading that familar passage in James, Joseph realized he must "either remain in darkness and confusion, or else... do as James directs, that is, ask of God" (JS 1:13), which he did, with life changing, even dispensation-inaugurating results."

Whew! Talk about a lengthy sentence! And she uses commas like I like to! That makes me happy. And I refuse to force this on 5 perole and I'm only going to tag 3. So I tag Cammie, Wendy, Brynn. Have fun. I am going to fatten myself on leftover chocolate eggs and wonder why my pants are tighter.